I'll Take A Chuckle Over A Pin To The Eye Any Day.

I am so limited in my television show consumption. But for a reason.

Most shows allow you yes, to zone out; yes, to forget about your troubles; yes, to connect to characters; yes to maybe even learn something new. And yes, most shows allow you to feel something. What, you ask? Most shows allow you to feel the emotional equivalent of a pin jab to the eye.

Now why would anyone want to subject themselves to that?

I've seen enough drama in life (nothing crazy, just the usual drama that come with living life) to have no desire to watch your typical drama shows - Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, etc. If I want to feel the stress that comes with fighting with your friends, going through rough patches in relationships, or any other unpleasant situation, I'll wait until I am forced to experience it live instead.

I can't sing, and have no desire to watch others as bad as (or worse) than I on any American Idol-esque show; I get embarrassed when I look like an idiot, and if you can't see that you do, I feel embarrassed for you.

I've spent hundreds of joyless, heartbreaking hours in hospitals in 2010 to take all the joy out of watching your typical hospital shows - Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc. I would be happy never to see the inside of one again, on TV or in real life.

If I wanted to see people making fools of themselves over love, I'll go watch the love triangles at any random bar on a Saturday night than sit and watch shows like The Bachelor/ette.

So what does that leave me? Hilarity. Things that make me laugh. When you think about it, why would you go out of your way to make yourself feel sad? Humiliated (for someone else)? Scared? I want to laugh. Always. Don't get me wrong, feeling a range of emotions is a natural and important aspect of life. But when I feel these things, I want them to be for real reasons. Not for some fictional character on TV.

I mean, if I went up to you, handed you a pin, and said, "Hey! I have this pin! For some entertainment, and because we're bored, or just want to sit and view something that will capture our interest, why don't you jab this pin in your eye?" It would allow you to experience something that people usually try to avoid if possible....so why would you (I hope) not jab the pin in your eye, yet watch a gruesome episode of Law & Order about the sexual exploitation of a little kid that makes you feel equally as nauseous?

So, my friends, it is almost 10:30 at night. I just got home from work. I am looking to relax, zone out, and immerse myself in something that captures my interest and makes me feel happy. Shows like Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother, Flight Of The Conchords, and best of all, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Dee, Mac, Charlie, Dennis and Frank....thank you for being here right now, and not being the equivalent of a jab with a pin to the eye.

Speed Dating: Blog-Style

I have decided that I need to amplify my online presence.

As an official 'communicator' (I have the degree and diploma to prove it), I realize that weblife is an important factor. Before graduation, I simply did not have the time to commit to the upkeep of my normal life, let alone my online life. But now that I am a graduate, I have all this weird 'free time' on my hands. It's a strange, new wonderful feeling. So, I decided to devote my time to something more productive than watching episode after episode of It's Always Sunny and HIMYM online.

That, and I finally got my own brand spankin new Macbook and I feel compelled to be on it ALL.THE.TIME.

So, I shall try this 'blog' thing you net-savvy communicators speak of. My query, however, is what to blog about? Even when I was assigned to maintain a blog about advertising, I couldn't. Not that I don't love advertising, it's just that I love it on another level...not the blogging level. Make sense? I didn't think so. But I get it, so don't worry.

So, still, what to blog about?

I love many a subject. But do I love any subject enough to write new, interesting and funny things about it on an almost daily basis? That's a lot of commitment....I don't do so well with the 'C' word nowadays. So, this could be a troubling factor.

Maybe I just need to create a blog about a different subject every day. Will it have avid followers? Probably not. Will it have a primary audience? The entire idea screams 'not a chance.' Will it keep ME entertained? Probably.

Maybe my solution is something along the lines of speed dating. I will try a new blog subject (the 'date') every entry (the 'speed') until I find The One. You know, the one that I find myself thinking about all the time, that just pops into my head, the one I can't wait to be with....you know, the blog subject that will fulfill my every need the way Prince Charming satisfies the normal speed daters'. So, I begin my blog speed dating quest.

This analogy brought to you by the minds at Lisa Rowson Inc.

(Or maybe start a blog about analogies - my favourite! And, that way, I can talk about anything as long as it's an analogy) I just had an epiphany. You are watching an idea in the making.

This blog post was going to be about finding a new blog subject, using speed dating as an analogy.

Then, I realized I should write about analogies.

THEN, I realized my blog post about finding a blog post answered my question about what to post on my blog. The answer is the question; the question is the answer.

How postmodern.

Gap

I will admit it:

I love the 2009 Gap Holiday ads. And I think I may be the only one. Everyone I've spoken to thinks they are campy, cheesy, or just plain annoying. All I know is, for some reason, I will sit and watch these Gap Holiday ads straight through - even if I was about to leave the room. Seriously, every one in the campaign appeals to me. Why, you ask? I'm not sure. Perhaps because they're fun. Or maybe because I like watching these cheesy dance/cheer routines (I was a sucker for Bring It On when the first one came out). And I never YouTube anything, but I've actually YouTubed these commercials. And by doing so, I even actually listened to their cheer - and discovered they were arguing why clothes from Gap are better than electronics as gifts! I mean, I can respect that; they just say flat out, this is what we think, and this is what you should think. It's not a clever message, really straightforward. It's a clever (at least entertaining) delivery to say the least. And I like it! I think they're just fun, and a nice change from the usual horrible holiday ads. (Need I bring up the "Whiskers saved Christmas" cat food ad that makes me dive for the remote? Or perhaps the ridiculous, annoying, kind of creepy Old Navy holiday ads - with their weird Supermodelquins? CREEEEEEEEPYYYYY)

I know Gap is on the downfall. But you've got to admit, they have nailed down their brand of commercials. they've practically patented the dance-routine-as-a-commercial thing. You know you remember the khaki ad they did years ago. So while Gap itself may not be what the public wants, and I personally (now that I think about it) have never bought a thing for myself from Gap, I still love the commercials. So what if their advertising is so much cooler than their clothes? So what if their brand doesn't line up in marketing and product? Finally, a company that entertains before they sell - haha, probably why they are going out of business. But hey, what does it matter? I'm entertained. And I shall never be without those peppy little Gap ads with the wonders of YouTube.

So thanks Gap, for entertaining me with your cheesy, campy, but awesome 2009 Holiday ads. Even if I'm the only one that thinks so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVMPWlWDvsI
The original - I love the part where they're walking back-to-back and low-fiving...I'm not sure why...maybe because high-fives and all their affiliates are awesome?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzwsEMd9iBo
The kid version of the 2009 Holiday ads. admittedly a little creepy/wrong, but come on! Still catchy, "How cute are these boots?!" And P.S., I'm scared of/love the little girl who does the 'I'm watching you' motion....she screams later in the commercial, and it looks terrifying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knW1hGwmEXQ
The Khaki ad - you know you remember it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4Hu6up9Xng
The Mellow Yellow ad - cute, entertaining, but if you're ultimately trying to sell clothes, why does everyone look like they're wearing the most boring things that have ever been created. I mean come on, they look like scrubs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDg50IUYPKE
You know your commercial is awesome when people recreate it and post it on YouTube.

In a Word, Epic.

Some things in life just make you smile, no matter what. This is why I love Andrew W.K.

Andrew W.K. is an epic rock singer/songwriter. A little offbeat, a little in his own world, but talented and awesome because of it. He writes the perfect songs. Instead of all the pathetic pop metaphors ('your body is a wonderland' - who actually says that in real life?), the angst-ridden alternative lyrics, and the I'm-crying-inside-because-I-can't-have-you emo messages, Andrew W.K. tells it like it is. 'She is beautiful.' It's simple, it's sincere, it's everything a girl wants to hear. It's how he feels, and guess what? It's what you hear. To me, that means more than any other flowery poem you could compose. And best of all, instead of being set to some melodramatic tune, the song itself makes you feel like the words do. They amp you up, they make you feel good, and you can't help but grin, no matter what. Finally, a great song whose lyrics and tune match the actual feeling that accompanies them. They make you wanna get up, air guitar, and grin like a maniac no matter what anyone thinks.

'She is beautiful' is a party song. Actually, most of his songs are party songs. Andrew W.K. is a party guy. Not a let's-get-wasted-because-I'm-a-rockstar party guy, but a plain simple, partying-is-fun-so-let's-rock-out kind of party guy. His songs make you feel good, bring up your mood, and make you feel like you can do everything and anything. Andrew W.K. doesn't write songs, he writes anthems.

I love you, Andrew W.K.

Analogizing (Not A Word).

When I feel bad, I write. Today is a setback. So I write.

I also like to make analogies to help me better understand things, and to better communicate how I feel. So I analogize (not a word).

Bad feelings (sadness, hurt, anger) are like zits.

No one likes them. They're unpleasant. In fact, I can't think of a single person who would willingly experience them. They come and go without the slightest reason or logic, and you have little control over them. You can try as many preventative steps as possible, you can do your best to make sure they don't plague you, and sometimes the preventative treatments work. But sometimes, no matter how much you tried to keep them at bay, they come whether you like it or not, at any time whether you like it or not. They are a fact of life, unavoidable, and something almost everyone has to deal with. Sure, there are those lucky ones who will hardly be touched by the unpleasantness, but at some point, everyone will have to deal with them on some scale.

So they're unpleasant, they're inevitable, and uncontrollable for the most part. But that's not all.

No one deals with them in the same way, or under the same circumstances. They can lie under the surface for some; there's no control, that's just how they affect that person. No one can tell, but the person experiencing them sure can. They keep it to themselves, deal with it or ignore it as best possible. Other people, however, no matter what they do, wear them right there in the middle of their face, bright as the sun, for anyone to see. They can try and hide them, but even under the best camouflage they're still there and everyone knows it. Most will avoid discussing it with the afflicted person; after all, it is an unpleasant topic, sensitive, and no one really knows how to deal with it. So for the good of all involved, no one talks about it.

Some go away quickly; some linger; some leave scars.

Bad feelings are like zits. And they both suck.

Check, Check...Is This Thing On?

Technology is killing me.

Don't get me wrong, computers are great, I couldn't live without the Internet, but technology - specifically cell phones - has burrowed its way into my life and made me dependent.

I can't go twenty minutes without checking my phone for a new message, checking facebook from my phone, or checking my email from my phone. And there's no reason for it. Every time I light up that little screen and see nothing new, I become a little sad for a moment. What am I waiting for? I'm not expecting anyone to call, text or message me, so why the obsessive check? I torture myself with it. I know that the way things are right now, everyone needs everything NOW. Instant. Can't wait, no patience. And I'm a product of the times. I'm waiting for something, some message that isn't coming, and I'm trying to control my growing impatience. All for nothing, because it is all pointless. People used to be able to wait. Not so anymore.

As much as I am dependent on checking for constant updates, constant messages, something, anything new, I know I can't stop. I can't say, I hate being reliant on my phone and so won't cave. I couldn't live without it if I tried. There are times, however, when I hate having a phone. Last night at work, I forgot my phone at home. And so for five blissful hours, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I didn't have to compulsively check to see if anyone thought me important enought to message.

Phone, I love you, but I don't have to like you.

I Heard It On The Radio

I've always found radio ads tricky. They're short, imaginative and should be easy to write. But unless that Big Idea hits you, you could staring at a very bad radio ad. So when I write them, I find I have some good, some bad - it's all up to chance and my creativity that day.

My opinions changed today, however. We had to mark the first year students' radio ads. And what a time warp! Looking back, I can see the improvements I've made along the way, and the stuff I learned that I didn't even know I learned. I was not looking forward to marking these, considering my love/hate relationship with radio ads. But all in all, I found I learned a lot about what I had learned over the past year.

This exercise made me appreciate everything I've learned so far, and makes me proud when I read a good ad from a first year. Trust me, there were some bad, baaad, ads; but there were some good ones too. You can see the people who just get it and those who just didn't.

It was nice to take a step back and look at ad creative from a different perspective. When you're writing, you can get too involved in the ad. It was a nice reminder to just take a step back and look at what you're writing, and realize that even if you think you're in the same place you were a year ago, you've really gone so much farther than you thought.